More Gratitude, Less Attitude – That’s right, I said it! I am calling all of you out, and you know who I’m talking to, myself included. I walked around all of 2022 in what I thought was a state of gratitude, but was it? Looking back, I can see that I was bringing more attitude to the table than actual gratitude.
Have I offended any of my readers yet? If I have, that is a perfect example of what I mean by more gratitude than attitude in 2023. As an award-winning mindset coach, I, of all people, should recognize when attitude raises its ugly little voice in my brain versus gratitude.
Let’s look at a couple of examples.
Example 1:
Someone you work with, maybe even someone you respect, is unhappy with a job you’ve done, something you’ve said, or just didn’t think you showed up for them as they expected you to. I know this year, I even struggled not to step into my defense mode. Your first response or reply might even be to defend your actions and explain why they are wrong. This is what I call the attitude stage.
If we were to step out of that feeling and into a state of gratitude, it might look something like this. Real listening, making sure the other person is being heard, and I mean really heard. Not just the polite listening we do when we are looking for the first opportunity to chime in with our excuse or explanation. Then let your mind flood with gratitude; this situation is what? An amazing opportunity for personal growth! To show up and do better the next time.
I also remind myself that I am not responsible for the way another chooses to feel. I am responsible for how ‘I’ react to how they share that with me.
Example 2:
Negative self-talk and self-pity, you know exactly what I am talking about. You set a goal for yourself, and it seems like the universe is throwing everything obstacle at its disposal into your path to success. I personally am very hard on myself when it comes to hitting goals and setting expectations for myself. I also have spent lots of wasted hours in the self-pity chair, beating myself up for missing a growth deadline or not executing a plan with “perfection.” Again another attitude phase.
But what if we recognized the Universe does have a plan, and it might even be better than the plan we have for ourselves? What if showing up with gratitude, and instead of focusing on the door we are struggling to open, we take a breath and look at the other doors that have been thrown wide open for us? Oh, and here is a big one! What if we got off that road to PERFECTION and realized there is no such magical place and realized that the true magic is in the messiness of the journey?
All of this sounds pretty awesome, and you might even be thinking hell yeah, I can do that, easy-peasy. Not so easy-peasy at all. It’s one of the hardest things to put into practice every single day. It takes personal awareness and daily practice. Even for someone like me who teaches this process to clients. What does come easier for me is recognizing when I am about to head through those attitude doors and out of the gratitude space.
Here are a few easy steps to help you.
Recognize and reset from Attitude to Gratitude. To do this, you first need to recognize how you physically feel when something comes up; what is that voice saying in your head? When I feel anxious about a situation not going as I planned, I know that I am getting ready to hop on the attitude trail leading to absolutely nowhere. When I feel this happening, I literally take a deep breath and scream in my head, “THANK YOU FOR THIS GROWTH OPPORTUNITY!”
Release trying to control others. You might be thinking you don’t control others. If you are affected by someone else happiness, you are trying to control their feelings. Remember what I said earlier? It definitely bares repeating again. You are not responsible for how someone else’s emotions! The only thing you have control over is how you respond! When this happens, listening, sometimes being heard is all others need to process that emotion and resolve what is going on. Again it is imperative that you do NOT try and make excuses for yourself. One of my favorite things I learned from a dear friend when I find myself in that situation is to listen with gratitude and simply reply with, “How can I support you through this?”
Becoming more aware of myself and how I have personally allowed attitude to rule certain situations in my personal life, business life, and family life was enlightening for me. I have learned so much about myself and my personal growth.
To wrap things up here, let us just touch base a little bit on that insane idea of perfection. Are you striving to achieve the perfect body, the perfect marriage, the perfect friendship, the perfect parenting skills, the perfect leader, oh, and one of my favorites, becoming the perfect human being? How is that been working out for you? Have you ever had an opportunity to glimpse that beautiful illusion of perfection yet? Because it doesn’t exist!!!
Step into the messy world of imperfection with me! Embrace all it has to offer, with all its beautiful heartache, disappointment, failure, and lost opportunities. It’s freeing! You get to show up as your authentic, messy self, and in all that chaos and growth, you might find happiness within yourself.
It’s time we all start to embrace the imperfection of our lives and allow that attitude we have been hauling around to take a back seat to the gratitude we find in the messy moments of our beautiful everyday lives!
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