AFTER the diagnosis – I clearly remember sitting there on that surgical steel exam table after all tests had been completed, and I was waiting for the neurologist to come back in with the results. I had been plagued by mystery symptoms drastically impacting my life, including leg numbness in one leg, double vision, constant vertigo, and inability to balance. It was terrifying, and no doctor had been able to explain it. Finally, the neurologist came into the room and stood before me with her exam notes. She looks down at them, then closes the folder, looks me straight in the eye, and says four words very seriously; “You have Multiple Sclerosis:”
Facing the Prognosis
Then, it seemed like an eternity went by. She didn’t say anything right away, so I looked at her with a deer-in-the-headlights expression of fear and shock on my face and said, “Well, now what do I do?”
She said…”I would look into getting a wheelchair.”
I think back on that moment quite often. What if I had been a different type of person?….one who follows the rules, one who complies with what is assigned to me, one who believes the cultural norm that the medical establishment knows everything that’s best for us? What would I have done? Sure. I would have taken her advice and left there to go buy a wheelchair. I then would have brought it home and had it sitting in some corner of my living room, and every time I saw it, I would have thought to myself….well, I guess my body is declining every day due to MS, and I soon won’t be able to walk.
Defying Expectations
And what I found out by living this journey, is that that internal forecast of the future may have come true very quickly. We are what we believe.
It is a travesty when well-meaning doctors prescribe the future, feeling sure of what they say due to statistics and medical data.
Very fortunately for me, when she gave me the diagnosis and her recommendation of getting a wheelchair, she was talking to a person who, by design …was NOT a person who complies or always follows prescribed rules or cultural norms. I remember clearly when she said the words…”I’d look into getting a wheelchair.” A voice immediately came roaring internally into my head, which loudly and emphatically YELLED, “ wheelchair??….. there’s no way in hell I’m going to end up in a wheelchair!!”
The Journey of Resilience
So it was that the next 16 years of my life, despite the progression of MS (it IS a progressive disease) I was emphatic and defiant and chose to keep up my very active life of running and mountain biking. This became harder, and toward the 16-year mark, I started to trip and fall when running. I would fall on pavement or rock and get cut or bruised, but I would just get up and keep running. I refused to give up running even if it meant having scrapes and bruises on me, which I just covered up with clothing. What eventually put a stop to that was that the last time I fell, I broke my hand. Typical of me, I just said to myself, no worries, I’ll just run wearing a cast. However, I was a sign language interpreter at the time and I realized that if I fell again (which I no doubt would) and re-broke my hand, I may well lose my ability to sign or finger-spell.
Even after the hard loss of having to give up running, I just took to the water instead and worked up the strength to swim laps each day instead of running. Throughout this journey, I have used the principles of the mind-body connection and designed a plan of action that I used every day to keep my body one step ahead of MS.
Adapting and Thriving
MS progresses to a point where I will have to give up something I adore doing. But I will then recalculate and find another form of the activity that I CAN do.
Here’s an example: I’m a musician and multi-instrumentalist, and when MS progressed to the point where my hands could no longer hang on to drumsticks, I sold my drum set and decided to become a student of hand drumming. I learned djembe, congas, frame drum, darbuka and riq. When my fingers lost their ability to play chords on my guitar, I sold my guitar and learned to play the mountain dulcimer, a wonderful string instrument I COULD play. All of this opened up an entirely new world to me that brings me an abundance of joy every day. I wouldn’t have even discovered these new genres if it hadn’t been for MS. In fact, I can honestly say that I have more happiness and fulfillment in my life now than ever before even before MS came into my life 35 years ago!
The Power of Choice
The message of this story is this: If and when you ever receive what seems like an end-of-life type of medical diagnosis, always remember that the direction of your life moving forward is entirely based on the decisions you make. Just like me, you can use the mind-body connection to create your reality. There is always a way over, around and through. You DO have the fortitude to rise above and design a path that works for you. Don’t sit back, succumb, surrender and ingest the words as some fatal news, for it is not. In fact, depending on how you choose to respond to this, it could be the beginning of a path of increased empowerment and life fulfillment. Never let a doctor’s diagnosis of a chronic or progressive illness determine the future of your life and happiness. Never allow their words, medical graphs, or testing results to seep into your soul, and be the truth about who you are and what quality of life you can have. That is entirely up to YOU.
Contact and Support If you’ve been given a serious life-altering diagnosis and would like to contact me for further information, please get my contact information from my website (virginiaoman.com). I’d be happy to speak with you. There is a FREE document there that I authored on the Mind-Body connection.
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