Finding Joy After Loss: Navigating the Holidays with Grace – After a year and a half, I still feel the sorrowful pangs of losing my beautiful mother. I still have the urge to call her and miss baking Greek cookies together when I visit our family home in Cleveland. Sitting in front of the fireplace in the evenings is just not the same. This year will mark the second Christmas without my mom and, by extension, without my dad and sister, who left with the angels twelve years ago. It is just my brother and me now; we are adult orphans. Our closest immediate family is five thousand sixty miles away in Thessaloniki.
The holiday season, often a time of joy and togetherness, can be especially challenging for those who have lost a loved one. Their absence magnifies our grief. While the holidays will never be the same, it is possible to find moments of peacefulness and even joy amidst the sorrow. Here, I offer practical advice to help you navigate the holidays with grace and find emotional solace.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
- Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment. It is okay to not be okay, to feel sadness, anger, or even relief.
- Share your feelings with friends or family members. Talking about your loss can be cathartic.
- Keep a journal where you write down your feelings daily—your highs and lows, where you find joy, and how you are managing your grief. Include three things you are grateful for to shift your focus from what is missing to what remains.
2. Create New Traditions
- Incorporate activities that honor your loved one. Cook their favorite holiday dish, light a candle in their memory, or create a memory box with mementos and notes about them. Spend time each holiday season adding to it. Creating new traditions honors the past while building new memories in the here and now.
- Start a new holiday tradition, such as a special walk in nature or a visit to a place that your loved one enjoyed.
- Consider volunteering, which can help shift your focus from your own pain to helping others.
3. Practice Self-Care
- Engage in activities that nurture your body. Schedule self-care activities, such as long walks or warm baths, into your calendar. Sip a peppermint latte while reading something inspirational.
- Practice mindfulness to stay grounded. Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditation or mindful breathing.
- Use journaling as a tool for emotional release, helping to organize and clarify jumbled thoughts.
4. Connect with Others
- Shift your focus outward by helping someone in need, perhaps a friend or colleague who is grieving as well. Supporting each other can be comforting.
- Connect with friends or join support groups for those who have experienced similar losses. Sharing your story and hearing others can provide comfort and understanding.
- Plan regular check-ins with a close friend or family member to talk openly about your feelings and experiences.
5. Find Joy in Small Moments
- Savor moments like a beautiful sunset, a good book, or a favorite meal. These moments can be a respite from grief and boost your overall wellbeing. This is a go-to practice for me.
- Start a new hobby or project dedicated to your loved one’s memory.
- Each day, reflect on and write down three things that brought you joy or peace.
6. Honor Your Loved One
- Create a special holiday ritual in their honor, whether it is a simple toast or something more elaborate. I light a candle every night and set it next to my mom’s photograph.
- Channel your feelings into creative outlets such as photography, writing, or crafting something in memory of your loved one.
- Similar to the memory box, make a scrapbook or a photo album of your favorite memories with them.
7. Seek Professional Help
- If the weight of heartache feels overwhelming, consider seeking help from a therapist specializing in grief. They can provide you with tools and strategies to help you cope.
- Join grief support groups where you can share your experiences and gain insights from others navigating similar losses.
- Engage in grief-focused workshops or seminars that offer guidance, community support, and structured ways to process your grief.
By incorporating these practices, you can create new traditions, honor your loved ones, and find comfort in small moments of joy. It is okay to experience a range of emotions during the holidays. Finding peace and joy after loss is a process. However, transforming the holidays into a time of reflection and renewal allows us to cherish new memories while feeling closer to those we miss. Our loved ones would want us to find happiness and peace despite their physical absence. I know mine would. Embrace these practices and make this holiday season a time of meaningful connection and healing.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ “Winnie the Pooh” by A.A. Milne
This article is an excerpt from the next book I am writing as part of my “Take a Shot at Happiness: How to Write, Direct & Produce the Life You Want” series. The first book in this series was voted “Best Personal Development Book of the Year” by this magazine and is the recipient of the Silver Nautilus Book Award 2024, recognizing books that promote spiritual growth, conscious living, and high-level wellness. It was also recognized by the National Indie Excellence Awards in two categories: Wellbeing Winner and Personal Growth Finalist.
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