Inside Out: Embracing the Emotional Architecture of Moving On
The Polarity of Letting Go
The darkness surrounding me seems to deepen as the outline of the wild desert begins to reveal itself in the ambient moonlight. Stars cover the sky like an untamed impressionistic painting. The Milky Way winds across the canvas like a river of light. This all feels as if it’s right on top of me. Every sense inside me is lit up with the feeling of once unreachable gratitude, melting the tension that had held me together like a rag doll. I can finally breathe, I am safe, at home in my body and I feel so alive.
I didn’t think I could feel this electricity, like an excited circuit; my whole being is turned on and turned up. Everything around me is saturated in color, texture and depth. Feels like life and everything I desire is searching for me, magnetic and drawn in. What had I been waiting for?
Embracing the inside out.
Disassociated, the desire to run away from the truth tends to sit just under the surface. Opening your eyes to the truth creates a rare saturation of color. I had been strangling my authenticity. The neat little box that kept me so contained had begun to leak. The harder I worked to suppress, the faster my emotions ran free. I was here but missing in action. The first person that everyone counted on, but I couldn’t count on myself. Most clients I work with have a part of their self-love language that gets lost in translation.
When we suppress our needs and authenticity, the body gets bound with tension as small acts become very real moments of self-abandonment. I didn’t used to see things this way. I thought I was being a good person, prioritizing others, caring for my community but as time went on I realized I was not showing up for myself when it counted and this became physical pain.
A people pleaser’s guide to facing abandonment.
There is a science to letting go, a lesson that was hard to learn for me and many others. Letting go and moving on has a strange polarity to it. Time feels like it is bending and you are speeding through a universe of possibilities, all trying to converge in one location.
The infinite potential of the path you’re about to choose seems to present every option. Do you stay in the past and invite the same lesson to repeat? Do you propel yourself forward into the unknown of a new chapter? When we don’t choose to let go, our ego gets entangled trying to prove our value. This is the moment when our story should shift to that main character energy, finding ourselves in the midst of the inevitable Glow Up. When our love story has left behind breadcrumbs in the black forest, how do you move on?
Learning to let go is emotional warfare.
Often, when the ego is trapped in a value match, our worth becomes questioned. Pushing the tendencies of an anxious partner or people-pleasing fixer, the desire to prove their worth. This, my friend, creates addiction. This story is not about them; it’s about you and the language of self-love. When our value is involved, self-love goes from being a comfort care routine to the masculine attributes of tough love.
It’s time to get real. If they move on the only option is to stop the firesale on your self-worth. Breaking the addiction to bad love requires facing the fear of abandonment by writing a better love story for yourself.
Finding a Path to Freedom
I’m AzLynn, an Alignment and Embodiment Guide with over 16 years of experience. I’ve helped People with long-term chronic pain break free from their patterns. I started as a Neuromuscular Retrainer for accidents and recovery. Later discovered that unresolved pain often comes from emotions trapped in the body, relived by the mind. The path to freedom involves re-educating the body and mind back into unity, facing discomfort and turning weaknesses into strengths. All negative emotions are just messages showing us what has gone by under the radar and fawning or people pleasing is the backdoor to self-abandonment, especially in love.
Breaking the addiction to unhealthy love
As love wanes away at the end of a relationship the desire to fix it can leave you feeling stuck in a toxic cycle reinforcing the love addiction. It’s crucial to shift focus gradually from what the other person wants and how to fix things to what you want now.
Reorienting your center back to yourself becomes essential.
Here are three ways to transform your emotional architecture and break the cycle.
- Step Into Your Own Spotlight. Create a mini bucket list of achievable activities hindered by your previous partner’s disinterest. Schedule a weekly solo date night to check off items on the list. This routine can replace ruminating on the future with excitement, injecting fresh desire and passion into your life.
- Reclaim Your Energy. It takes less than 30 seconds for a thought to produce an emotion. When we experience recycled emotions, we unconsciously feed our energy and effort to the other person. This places them on a pedestal and feeds an addiction to a biochemical attachment. When they come to mind, simply rewind, back to just before you thought of them. With a deep sigh, release the tension. This releases the building energy, signaling the body that you are safe versus ramping up the adrenaline.
- Write & Release. In a letter, write down anything left unsaid. This is one of my favorite things because the body does not know the difference between reality and the mind’s eye. If you can feel your thoughts, you are living it. Keep the letter with you, rereading it or adding to it until the next full moon. Give yourself time to grieve and on the full moon, commit to moving on, then burn or bury the letter.
As you contemplate your path to freedom, consider these transformative steps. This truly is just the beginning of a profound exploration. If you hunger for more insights on breaking the addiction to unhealthy love and rewriting your love story, join me in a deeper conversation by following the link or QR code.
Together, let’s unravel the many layers to emotional liberation and pave the way to a brighter, more authentic chapter. Your story is unfolding—embrace it.
Connect with AzLynn: https://linktr.ee/azlynnberry
Read more articles from our VIP Executive Contributor, AzLynn Berry.
