Lessons From My Rosebush: Blooming Through the Tempest – I am a recent survivor of Hurricane Helene, which took dead aim and fired down on my town in NC. It had catastrophic results, which made national news for many weeks. In my previous article for this magazine, I describe some of what that experience was like. Now, I’m following that up by sharing a profound lesson I learned from that event, which came from one of the least expected places.
The Unlikely Teacher
As many of you already know, I am a Transformational Coach and a Mental Health Therapist specializing in trauma. I have a private practice office as well as my own office in the house where I live. I provide most of my sessions online using a secure telehealth link. Needless to say, I am sitting at my office desk for most daytime hours. My one big window I sit next to looks out on a big, beautiful, and lush rose bush. I am very grateful for its cheerfulness and beauty against the blue sky and sun.
I have become very fond of this rose bush over the years and thank it daily every morning when I pull up the blinds and see it smiling at me in all its brilliance. It keeps me company every day and is a constant reminder of the magic of life.
Fast forward to the night of the hurricane. It arrived with its deluge of rain so thick you could not see out of the window. Coupled with 90-mph winds knocking over trees, houses, cars, whatever was in its way. As I lay tucked under the covers in my bed, with no heat, no electricity, and no way to communicate with anyone, I just listened to the downpour of the rain and howling and deafening wind battering all sides of my house. I thought of my rose bush and felt great sadness. Those blooms would not only be smashed to smithereens against the window, but no doubt, the entire plant would be uprooted, lifted out of the ground, and blown far away.
The night was all terrifying and it seemed to go on forever. Each burst of wind seemed more and more powerful until I was sure the window panes would shatter and I would be swept away.
The Life Force Within
Hours later, it ended, and I was incredibly thankful the structure I lived in made it through. Part of me wanted to see the results of the destructive rain and wind. Part of me was scared to witness what I was about to see. I went to my office, took a deep breath, and slowly raised the blinds, preparing to see my rose bush completely destroyed and in tatters. I felt like the universe had gifted me with gold when, to my great surprise, I was looking directly at red roses! Most of them intact, with their blooms still full and greeting me with cheer as if it were just a normal morning. I was astounded. I sat in my desk chair staring at them, wondering, “How the hell can something so delicate and sweet and lovely withstand 90-mile winds and hours of rain pouring down on them when all around them there were huge fallen objects and even metal signposts ripped out of the ground all lying there as victims of the destructive force.
Fearless and Invincible
It occurred to me right then that I, as a human being, had survived the destructive pounding of a hellish nightmare trauma in my infancy and then went on to somehow survive an unhappy childhood. How did my body, mind, and spirit do that? How did a delicate, innocent, and sweet baby withstand all that terror and pain she went through?
I remembered the seed inside a blade of grass that, even with a blanket of concrete covering it, will cause that blade of grass to develop, find its way through a crack in the cement sidewalk, burst through, and rise up. I remembered that the force of life is inside the seed of every flower, every living form of nature, animal, and human being. The force of life and survival is born inside from the very start and can be indestructible.
Celebrating Your Resilience
How easy it is for all of us to forget how resilient we are. How easy it is to overlook the great, seemingly impossible obstacles we have overcome and made it through. And what a tragedy if we don’t allow ourselves to celebrate our OWN resilience.
I have subsequently made sure that every time I work with my clients (all of whom come to me experiencing destructive symptoms of depression and/or anxiety), I get them to talk to me about how they have managed to make it through and get to THIS point in time. How have they done that? How have they forged their way thru their unhappiness in childhood and overcome the seemingly impossible events in their life to this point? When I do this, they look at me with newfound amazement at what they have survived and overcome on their own. When we go on to identify what their unique strengths are that they have tapped into and employed, their feeling of hope and faith in life dramatically rises. Many times, the rest of the process of therapy can progress faster for them once they have realized and acknowledged their own resiliency.
So I ask you: how have YOU shown your resiliency in your own life? Take the time to think about this. I encourage you to do some journal writing about it. It’s important. And that journal entry might turn out to be its own letter of love and immense gratitude to yourself.
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