Let’s Talk About S*X Baby! – So, the title of this article either got you incredibly curious, or … you know the song too and are wondering, “What does this have to do with holistic health?” Either way, I’m glad you are here and reading this because I really do want to talk about S*X. Specifically, the challenges and oftentimes frustrations, that menopause can bring to this element of a woman’s life. And let’s not forget that if this is leaving women ripping their hair out, it’s definitely creating some frustrations for their partners as well. Heck, I think we need to rebrand menopause as the ‘funhouse of hormonal hijinks!”
Sex and menopause, and the changes this brings to a woman’s intimate life may be something whispered about with girlfriends, over several margaritas or glasses of wine, but it is rarely shouted from the rooftops. I mean none of us want to admit that sex is now ‘different,’ and/or that we are struggling with vaginal dryness that can greatly impact arousal and enjoyment … not to mention all the emotional changes that are also going on in our body. Are you feeling me?
So how about, with a little humor, honesty, and holistic suggestions, we work at navigating these waters to support creating some new habits that can help to increase our pleasure during sex?
Menopause often arrives like an unannounced house guest, bringing with her several uninvited guests such as vaginal dryness and reduced elasticity along with changes in libido that can leave us feeling, well, unsexy as heck. However, here is the good news … menopause doesn’t spell the end of your sex life. Far from it, actually. If approached with an open mind and a splash of humor, some simple adjustments can unveil new facets of your relationship and have you purring in the bedroom again.
So, what are some of the best ‘holistic hacks’ to enhance your sexual well-being? This is probably one of my most favorite conversations to have with women who are working at navigating menopause. Why? Simply… just because we have reached the age of menopause does not mean that we have ceased being sexual beings or that we no longer have desires and want an active healthy and passionate sex life. Right ladies? Let me hear you!!!
We are women …hear us ROAR!
First of all, I cannot stress enough the need for regular and consistent exercise. Not only will this massively support you in sustaining optimal physical fitness, but it can also boost your mood and energy levels. And NO … you don’t need to become or start training like an Olympic athlete. You just need to start moving and especially start to incorporate weight-bearing exercises, such as body weight movements, yoga, and even dance, just to mention a few, which are all beneficial. Oh, and PS, sexual activity could certainly fall into this category.
Next, keeping yourself well-hydrated is critical. Dehydration can exacerbate symptoms like hot flashes and dry skin, which can make you feel incredibly uncomfortable in your own body, not to mention just making your life very unpleasant. Bring in plenty of water-rich fruits like watermelon and cantaloupe and make your water bottle your best friend.
Another great tool in your menopause survival kit is practices like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness. These are not just trendy forms of self-care, they are actually quite effective when practiced consistently. These all have the potential to greatly reduce your stress levels, improve flexibility, and even enhance your body awareness … which is super important for maintaining intimacy with your partner.
Okay, let’s now address the often-taboo topic of vaginal dryness. Maybe it’s not as sexy as ‘water-rich’ fruit, but ladies, we all know that if it hurts it is not enjoyable and if we are not enjoying ourselves, our partner is probably not having a great time either. So how about we look at solutions for this so that you both get to enjoy a healthy and pleasurable sex life, instead of feeling like you have to just ‘suck it up’ and feel miserable during what is supposed to be one of the most amazing physical human experiences? Sounds good to me …
When it comes to vaginal dryness, natural, water-based or silicone-based lubricants are best. If you want something that is more natural, coconut oil is a fantastic option. And you don’t need to figure this all out on the first attempt. Enjoy the exploration with your partner. Look at it like a sexy scavenger hunt, to find what products work for both of you to keep sparks flying in the bedroom … or wherever.
Ultimately, menopause is a new era of your feminine power as a woman who knows exactly what she wants and who is unafraid to ask for it and seek it out. You are a woman who embraces her sexuality, unapologetically … and good for you! Girl, let me say this …
You’ve spent the first half of your life taking care of and nurturing others. It’s time to allow yourself some of the pleasures you may have put off because you didn’t have time, you were too tired or you simply “weren’t feeling it.”
This is your time and you get to feel and experience all of it. Remember what I said above … “We are women, hear us ROAR?” I want to hear you roar ladies because you are a fabulous, sexy badass and you deserve to enjoy every dang second of that.
- Connect with Tonya Fines.
- More articles from our VIP Executive Contributor, Tonya Fines.