The Art of Public Speaking – When I was a young girl, I was shy and reserved. Because I didn’t have a lot of confidence, the thought of “using my voice” made me feel uncomfortable and completely out of my element.
I didn’t understand how terrified of public speaking I was until I was thirteen.
In the Jewish religion, when a boy or girl turns thirteen, they celebrate coming of age by having a bar or bat mitzvah. This marks the transition into young adulthood.
Part of having a bat mitzvah was the expectation that I was going to stand on a stage in front of a large congregation and read passages from the Torah in Hebrew, a skill I lacked greatly. It was also common to make multiple speeches during the candle lighting ceremony that takes place during the party.
Bar and bat mitzvahs were as over-the-top as weddings. So, you can imagine the pressure I felt.
I remember standing in my bedroom and shaking as I practiced reading my speeches out loud. Fear overtook me. How was I going to speak in front of an entire audience when I could barely speak in front of a mirror?
One day, my mom walked in to my room to the sight of me practicing. She asked, “how are your speeches coming along?” I sighed. I felt nervous and unsure if I could even do it. My mom came over to me, seeing how unsure I was of myself, and said, “let’s practice together.”
We then went into our kitchen and practiced. I stood about 25 feet away from my mom as she offered me feedback. She reminded me to slow down because when I got nervous, I would speak very quickly. She also explained the importance of taking deep breaths to calm my nerves. Both of these tricks helped. And with more practice, I started to overcome my fear of public speaking.
Needless to say, I got through my bat mitzvah relatively successfully. I saw an increase in my confidence and realized that I actually kind of liked public speaking.
In high school I took a public speaking class. I noticed that the more I practiced, the more comfortable I became writing speeches and speaking publicly.
Today, I have spoken on many stages. I am also the host of a popular Instagram LIVE series on The Be Happy Project where I get to interview incredible thought leaders in the mental health and wellness space. Every other week, several thousand viewers tune in to the Instagram LIVE. I’ve been told by people that I make public speaking look so easy.
This is what I’ve learned about public speaking over the years:
- Fear can be a good thing. Fear gets your adrenaline going. It creates a level of excitement within you that other people feed off of. The trick is to not let fear stop you. Channel your fear into adrenaline. And when you get up to speak, find a point in the back of the room to look at while you talk.
- Breathe, breathe, breathe. Taking several deep breaths before you speak is crucial in order to calm your nervous system down. It works wonders.
- Be yourself. There’s a reason why you are being put in front of an audience. You have something vital to offer. Whether it’s your knowledge of a product, or your life experience, you’ve got what that audience needs. Speaking authentically, and being true to who you are, will set you up for success.
- Make sure your speech is genuine. This goes along with my previous point, but you want to make sure that your speech feels right. Listen closely to how each word in your speech makes you feel. If your body tightens up, or if a word or sentence doesn’t “sound like you,” then come up with something that algins more with your voice.
- Preparation equals professionalism. You’ve got to come prepared. Whether this is showing up for a job interview or giving a speech on a stage, you need to do your due diligence. Research the company. Know your facts. Understand who your target audience is. The more knowledgeable you are on a topic, the more you will gain people’s trust.
- Work on those confidence building skills. Practice your speech with a family member, or if you don’t have anyone to practice with, practice in front of a mirror. You can also record yourself (all you need is something to lean your phone against) and watch the video back. Watch and ask yourself; what improvements can I make, whether it’s in my confidence or speech?
- Public speaking is a lifelong skill. You use your voice in some capacity every day, so I’d suggest getting really good at it. Think about it – you speak with your neighbor, your boss, your partner, or the person in customer service. Learn to harness this skill.
Remember, you are worthy of being heard, seen, and valued. Here’s to you using your voice!Learning the art of public speaking will positively influence your relationships, both personally and professionally. It opens doors. And, it has an incredible impact on those around you as well as with yourself.
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