When You Feel Like You’re Never Enough? Find Confidence and Clarity Through Somatic Yoga – It was Christmas Eve, and I was heading to the airport after a long shift at work. I was in my early twenties, working an intensive wilderness therapy job on the Big Island of Hawaii. It was fulfilling work, but not the kind my parents envisioned for me.
As I drove to the airport from the little house in Hilo, dressed in polished clothes that looked nothing like the dirty, sweaty ones I’d worn in the field just thirty minutes before, I rolled through the more perfect, important version of myself I would present to my parents. But, as the car in front of me suddenly stopped at a light, I spilled my green smoothie all over myself.
“Of course. You can never get it right.” I let out a defeated whisper to myself.
My car rolled through the next light as I, unable to think about how to fix the situation, gave way to the loud voices of judgment that always reminded me I could have chosen a different path—a path my parents would have been proud of—that pounded in my head.
I parked my car at the airport and got out, covered in green smoothie. So much for the polished look. Another attempt to please my parents ended in defeat.
As it went, I missed my flight because TSA decided to shut down early. After a futile attempt to negotiate my way onto the plane, I watched it depart without me. As the plane lifted off without me, covered in smoothie and shame, the familiar sting of disappointment settled in—not just because I missed the flight, but because I knew I was letting my family down once again.
“How does one not plan properly and end up late for a flight?!” my mother’s voice cut through the phone, sharp enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and disappear.
The next day, I finally made it home, surrounded by the usual family traditions and the happy faces of my siblings.
But despite the warmth of the holiday, I couldn’t shake the twinge of separateness. I was part of this family, yet I never felt like I was quite good enough.
That’s been the story of my life; always striving, always falling short. Living far away in Hawaii seemed easier. At least there, I could control what they saw and how much of me my family could critique.
This feeling, I’ve learned over the years, is far more common than it feels when you’re experiencing it. Many high-achieving women and men appear confident and driven on the outside yet are secretly overwhelmed and doubt themselves as they search for deeper meaning and freedom.
This comes from existing in a world that often defines success by the milestones we achieve rather than what we naturally bring to the table.
For years leading up to that Christmas, the nagging sense that I wasn’t enough permeated every area of my life, especially around my family.
But I realized that only kept me stuck. In the months following that Christmas vacation, I took a key step that changed my self-confidence and redefined my relationship with my family in positive ways.
The Turning Point: Discovering Somatic Yoga
One of the most powerful shifts I made was incorporating daily somatic yoga into my routine. You’ve probably heard of yoga before, the ancient practice from India that’s often seen as a way to strengthen the body. But somatic yoga is different. It’s not about body image, building strength, or even a soothing practice that might lull you to sleep (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).
Somatic yoga is a powerful blend of stillness and movement that brings you into the present. It’s similar to practices like Tai Chi in that it emphasizes the connection between the body and mind to enhance self-awareness.
Unlike the powerful poses or flowing sequences you see in typical yoga classes, somatic yoga focuses on simple yet deeply effective movements and still postures that help release stored emotions stuck in your body’s nervous system.
As one of my guests put it during a retreat, “This isn’t hot-girl yoga.” It’s a practice that takes as long as it does to make your frothy-oat-milk-latte, and it feels incredible.
Why Somatic Yoga Is Worth It
Think of your nervous system as a carbon copy receipt of your brain’s memories. Even when your mind moves on, your body remembers. I often say during my Somatic Yoga retreats, “The body remembers what the mind forgets.”
This practice has not only relaxed my muscles and calmed my nervous system but has also helped me release the internalized shame, judgment, and self-doubt that were holding me back.
Another powerful benefit of somatic yoga is that it leads to the creation of a conscious community. This is a group of people who accept you as you are rather than expecting something from you. It fundamentally alters how you present yourself in that environment when those around you see and support you without passing judgment.
You become less guarded and more vulnerable, and in that openness, you start to see yourself and the possibilities for your life differently. My relationships have become more meaningful, and I’ve learned that true connection comes from being authentic, not perfect.
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself.” – Bessel van der Kolk
Feel Free and Worthy. You don’t have to carry the weight of others’ expectations any longer. You can choose to live for yourself, to embrace who you are, and to celebrate the progress you’ve made, no matter how imperfect it may seem. This is your journey, and it’s time to honor it.
To take the next step, join me at my retreat this March. There, you will release built-up judgment, shame, and self-doubt and reconnect with your true essence.
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