Why is our emotional world so confusing? – We could say that our emotional world is inside us, and the physical world is outside us; we are in it. Although some theories suggest that there is no inside and outside and that it’s all one continuum, on the level of our experience, we definitely feel that we have our internal and external worlds, and they are distinct. Not only are they distinct, but they are governed by opposite rules. Today, I propose we explore these two different spaces so you can better understand your inner space. The internal world is much closer to us and our true Self than the external one. It is actually foundational and primary. Therefore, any improvement and better management of the inside directly translates into our relationship with the external world.

WE ARE IMMERSED IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD

From day one, we learn the basic laws of the physical world. For example, when you let go of something, it falls; when you don’t want something in your space, you push it away or distance yourself from it; when you encounter an enemy, you fight or run; when something is heavy, you need more force to move it, etc. It seems obvious. They don’t teach us very well what the laws of the emotional world are. Yet, emotions are integral to our experience; we can’t live a normal life without them. They constantly appear as a reaction to the external world or what’s inside us. We try to manage them in the way we think works.

So, we go inside to handle our emotional reactions and try to apply the laws of the physical world, e.g., we fight a bad emotion. And… oh dear… not only does it not work as we expected, but often we end up hurting ourselves in the process or at least wasting time and energy.

THE EMOTIONAL WORLD IS COUNTERINTUITIVE

In the emotional space, everything is proportionally opposite. For instance, let’s say you discover that your closest friend lied to you, and you feel betrayed and hurt. These are big, unpleasant emotions occupying your inner space. You can’t believe what happened. You don’t want to feel this way, so you distract yourself; you fight these emotions with other emotions, and it just won’t go away.

What’s important here isn’t the emotion itself but your REACTION to this emotion. The basic rule in the emotional space is that every single emotion must be accepted. The more unpleasant, tough, negative, or bad the emotion is, the more acceptance and less distance it needs to be released. So, in order for a difficult emotion to disappear, we need to get closer to it. Here’s where our inner animal starts growling because, in its world, the closer we get to something, the more dangerous it becomes. Suddenly, we experience all kinds of defense mechanisms against our own emotions so they “don’t kill us.”

However, the opposite happens: we start hurting ourselves. In the physical world, when we distance ourselves from an object, it becomes smaller and eventually disappears. In the world of emotions, they become bigger and bigger until they overwhelm us. Conversely, when we get closer to them, they become smaller, and when we merge with them, they disappear. It’s a complete shock to the logical mind.

• When we resist difficult emotions, they grow stronger, not weaker.
• When we distance ourselves from difficult emotions, they become bigger, not smaller.
• When we fight difficult emotions, they feed on our energy and fight back, and we always lose.
• When we ignore difficult emotions, they get our attention through obsessive thoughts.
• When we stuff difficult emotions down, they surface through a physical problem.

Notice that difficult emotions behave like little children, and that’s how they need to be treated: with love and patience.

IT IS A SKILL WE NEED TO DEVELOP IN OURSELVES

Our physical body’s instinct is inborn and tells us to run from or fight anything unpleasant, uncomfortable, or perceived as dangerous. The good news is that NOTHING on the inside is dangerous. Whatever we find inside is always US. Behind every difficult emotion is a disconnected part of our deep Self that needs attention. So, when we reject, deny, or ignore a difficult emotion, we reject, deny, and ignore a piece of ourselves. And that’s when self-destruction begins.

Now, there is an important distinction. In the example above, you don’t have to accept what the friend did to you. But you must accept what you FEEL. So, when you feel betrayed and hurt, do this:

• Place one hand on your chest and the other above your navel.
• Turn your attention inward and focus it right under your hands.
• Say: “I’m right here. And I accept everything I feel right now.”
• Keep your attention turned inward!
• Do this a few times, for about a minute or so.
• Actually, DO it; it won’t work if you’re only imagining it.

NEVER FORGET YOURSELF IN ANY SITUATION

By doing this, you acknowledge yourself, allow difficult emotions to pass through you, pull yourself out of the victim position, and access your inner Power. After that, you can handle your friend however you like 😉 In this particularly busy month of December, I propose that you stop once a day for a minute and acknowledge your Being with this super-simple exercise. You will be rewarded from the inside in many ways.

I want to summarize with a quote from my book You Are the Dream of the Universe: “What is rejected inside translates into accepting something harmful from the outside.”

I invite you to learn more about the relationship with your deeper Self in my book You Are the Dream of the Universe.

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• Contact Katarzyna “Kasia” Dodd.
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